Честит Дивали!
Спомен: покрива на семейния хотел с малкото пиленце и "Ордена на феникса" в Джодхпур
Monday, October 27, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
Things Gone
- Extended family safety net
- Stoycho
- Love
- Antonia
- Indology magical glue
- Innocence
- Zori
- Bright dreams
- The horizon
- Sense or the illusion of it, whichever was present in the first place
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
All About Him
Гьоте институт има интересен проект, целящ "да се осмисли преформатирането на идеята за мъж в контекста на настъпилите промени в междуполовите отношения в обществото", който в момента се помества на българска почва. Не смея да коментирам, защото силно се съмнявам в способността си да бъда неутрална и обективна, но поне това трябва да се каже - това е един неграмотно написан кураторски текст. Би могло да се спори, че съм много склонна да търся слабостите в това конкретно начинание под лупа, но аз не мога да взимам насериозно и да уважавам неща, насочени към обществеността (било то реклами, арт проекти, периодични издания, предавания, продукти на визуалните изкуства и т.н.), ако езиковата им среда - средството, което следва да ги представи, позиционира в контекст и "продаде" - е непрофесионална, безмощна, посредствена или направо жалка, както е в много случаи.
Информацията за проекта е тук.
ЕТА: Е добре, как да приемеш насеризно арт проект, сред чиито заявени цели е: "ще покаже истината такава, каквато е"?!
Информацията за проекта е тук.
ЕТА: Е добре, как да приемеш насеризно арт проект, сред чиито заявени цели е: "ще покаже истината такава, каквато е"?!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Тънки разлики
Днес ми хрумна вероятен отговор на отдавна стояща в главата ми питанка। Разликата при З, С, И и А (и може би А) е че те не само ме приемат, но и ме виждат всеки път без заготовка, останала от предишния. И изобщо без никаква заготовка. Такова гледане изобщо не е лесно, то изисква както любов и талант, така и усилие. Може би това е отговорът. Засега е съвсем задоволителен.
प्यार तुम से, जोरी
प्यार तुम से, जोरी
Parting
So lie to me
Like they do it in the factory
Make me think that at the end of the day
Some great reward will be coming my way
Like they do it in the factory
Make me think that at the end of the day
Some great reward will be coming my way
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Евелина
Евелина, най-сетне - момичето в съседната стая, което каза, че ужасно го дразня, докато плачеше, когато се разделяхме - so it must be that I love you, заключи накрая.
Тя прекара най-много време в Юваскюла и се привърза най-много към нея, струва ми се. Евелка, дължа ти хиляди благодарности за собствения си незабравим престой. Не знаеш колко рядък дар е да успееш да ме накарaш да погледна напълно непознати хора и да общувам с тях.
And I love you too.
Тя прекара най-много време в Юваскюла и се привърза най-много към нея, струва ми се. Евелка, дължа ти хиляди благодарности за собствения си незабравим престой. Не знаеш колко рядък дар е да успееш да ме накарaш да погледна напълно непознати хора и да общувам с тях.
And I love you too.
Friday, September 12, 2008
A year since
This is the view from Giovanni and Chao's unforgettable balcony in Jyvaskyla. Giovanni posted a few gems from that time on his personal page; this is one of them.Inexplicably, this one made me saddest. I remembered when a year ago I met Chao in Ilokivi and we made the bike deal; and the next day (it was a Wednesday) I came to Giovanni and Chao's place and took it precisely from this spot. Seeing it again so suddenly broke the wall of after-haps and flooded me with the crisp sensation of the inexplored and infinite newness that was Finland then. It was a winter-scented clear space ahead and around, vibrating with worlds and excitements waiting for me to wander their way. Now it is passed, it is behind me, and it pains me a little to unexpectedly get an ephemeral tinge of that rich, youthful, unabridged feel of the breaking dawn of Finland, knowing it is nothing more than an interestingly glowing light behind me growing dimmer and smaller now.
Friday, August 29, 2008
My four-week window into a real life
Work defies real life in my definition.
Anyway, an odd "What I did in my summer vacation" post seems to be in order.
I had full 4 weeks, which I think I sapped as well as I could without turning enjoyment into a goal to be achieved. Some engagements did occur, and time seemed abridged, because I was able to see its end. When I can see the limits of a time period, my mindset becomes limited too... I seem unable to start any projects with indefinite duration or unidentifiable aim, like writing, or even mundane time-consuming stuff like classifying my picture prints or my books, or my old diaries - things I enjoy doing immensely, but somehow seem to find my limited time here too precious to devote it to activitie which deserve a free state of mind to be done justice.
Week 1: Istanbul! Bjork!!!!! A wonderful, spirited experience in a youthful and motley city with exquisite details, though just 5 days in duration. Highlights include the concert, of course, and Starbucks cinnamon chewing gum (post-coffee), an independent shop for bold accessories and clothes, the numerous cats and kitties, Istanbul Modern! My God!, a delicious lamb meatballs wrap, spiced mussels with rice on the bridge straight from the shell, cafes with finesse, free tea after every meal, the lovely Indian family we met at the hostel, the air-conditioned tram to the touristy area - and more, certainly, and here are some pictures:
Well, I spent the last 3 days of that week at home, tying to get as a much sleep as possible. Visited my grandfather, who loaded us with cornels, honey with the wax, apples and sheep cheese, and our Medovo houses. And highlight of week! Stoycho!!! <3 a="" all="" as="" at="" br="" but="" close="" even="" ever="" happiness="" he="" him="" it="" morning="" of="" one="" only="" precious="" remains.="" seeing="" shave...="" such="" the="" was="" when="">
Week 2: Work. That one isn't that exciting, but my father bought me a bun and made coffee for me every morning; and on Wednesday I started running in the evenings. Went to the open-air cinema with my mother on Friday. I watched House MD before bed too, and I had missed the guy intensely! Oh, there was the Olympics, too, which I followed on a daily basis and commented fervently with my father in-between work. I was finally reunited with Tony!!! Actually, not a bad week after all ;)
Weeks 3: Beach week! No work, the sea, calamari, and quite a succesful attempt at making a mini-remake of the bissful 2006 summer Tony and I had. Zori visisted, I had my birthday on the beach (and I had TEHMOST DELICIOUS cake evah!!!), I got postcards from Poland, and the cult Pomorie band Artery sang a song especially for me :D Zori loved the Great Salt Lake, took like 1000 pictures, made fun of my new night activity, called Pomorie romantic and was lovely as usual all around (except for a well stewed (2 years) accusation she served me). Zori and I went ot Burgas and met Zhivko as well. Olympics were still on, and we watched the rhythmic gymnastics together. Beach with Tony every day! That one week was a gem in my calendar. Well, I hurt both my knees while running, but that's a small price to pay for the other week home it earned me!
Week 4: Supposed to be work week, but I got no work for Monday, whch I wasted riveted in the armchair waiting for it - but met Hrisi and Judith in the evening, which was quite a treat, never having really believed I'd see her again. She looked beautiful and well. Worked a bit on Tue, and met Grisha in the evening. No work on Wed either, but this time I took my towel and went to the beach (where I engaged in an explosive sexism discussion with a bunch of guys). Thu, work, Fri - beach! and work too, though. Tony and I went back to the golden beach and soaps regime, messasing each other 10 times a day and discussing everything from soap coma characters' make-up to cinema and the USA elections, and laughing like madwomen, of course. God, am I going to miss this. I'm clutching it like a safebelt now.
Activites spanning all four weeks: water-melon eating, CoS surfing, small-hours chatting, House MD before bed in the attic, night ice-scream snacks, calamari eating, indiscriminate devouring of all kinds of TV programmes and way too little sleep :D
Tomorrow is my last day of beach, and then I have to pack my bags and leave for that horrendous city. D; Pomorie summers with friends, family and soaps are turning from a given to a dream getaway.
Anyway, an odd "What I did in my summer vacation" post seems to be in order.
I had full 4 weeks, which I think I sapped as well as I could without turning enjoyment into a goal to be achieved. Some engagements did occur, and time seemed abridged, because I was able to see its end. When I can see the limits of a time period, my mindset becomes limited too... I seem unable to start any projects with indefinite duration or unidentifiable aim, like writing, or even mundane time-consuming stuff like classifying my picture prints or my books, or my old diaries - things I enjoy doing immensely, but somehow seem to find my limited time here too precious to devote it to activitie which deserve a free state of mind to be done justice.
Week 1: Istanbul! Bjork!!!!! A wonderful, spirited experience in a youthful and motley city with exquisite details, though just 5 days in duration. Highlights include the concert, of course, and Starbucks cinnamon chewing gum (post-coffee), an independent shop for bold accessories and clothes, the numerous cats and kitties, Istanbul Modern! My God!, a delicious lamb meatballs wrap, spiced mussels with rice on the bridge straight from the shell, cafes with finesse, free tea after every meal, the lovely Indian family we met at the hostel, the air-conditioned tram to the touristy area - and more, certainly, and here are some pictures:
Well, I spent the last 3 days of that week at home, tying to get as a much sleep as possible. Visited my grandfather, who loaded us with cornels, honey with the wax, apples and sheep cheese, and our Medovo houses. And highlight of week! Stoycho!!! <3 a="" all="" as="" at="" br="" but="" close="" even="" ever="" happiness="" he="" him="" it="" morning="" of="" one="" only="" precious="" remains.="" seeing="" shave...="" such="" the="" was="" when="">
Week 2: Work. That one isn't that exciting, but my father bought me a bun and made coffee for me every morning; and on Wednesday I started running in the evenings. Went to the open-air cinema with my mother on Friday. I watched House MD before bed too, and I had missed the guy intensely! Oh, there was the Olympics, too, which I followed on a daily basis and commented fervently with my father in-between work. I was finally reunited with Tony!!! Actually, not a bad week after all ;)
Weeks 3: Beach week! No work, the sea, calamari, and quite a succesful attempt at making a mini-remake of the bissful 2006 summer Tony and I had. Zori visisted, I had my birthday on the beach (and I had TEHMOST DELICIOUS cake evah!!!), I got postcards from Poland, and the cult Pomorie band Artery sang a song especially for me :D Zori loved the Great Salt Lake, took like 1000 pictures, made fun of my new night activity, called Pomorie romantic and was lovely as usual all around (except for a well stewed (2 years) accusation she served me). Zori and I went ot Burgas and met Zhivko as well. Olympics were still on, and we watched the rhythmic gymnastics together. Beach with Tony every day! That one week was a gem in my calendar. Well, I hurt both my knees while running, but that's a small price to pay for the other week home it earned me!
Week 4: Supposed to be work week, but I got no work for Monday, whch I wasted riveted in the armchair waiting for it - but met Hrisi and Judith in the evening, which was quite a treat, never having really believed I'd see her again. She looked beautiful and well. Worked a bit on Tue, and met Grisha in the evening. No work on Wed either, but this time I took my towel and went to the beach (where I engaged in an explosive sexism discussion with a bunch of guys). Thu, work, Fri - beach! and work too, though. Tony and I went back to the golden beach and soaps regime, messasing each other 10 times a day and discussing everything from soap coma characters' make-up to cinema and the USA elections, and laughing like madwomen, of course. God, am I going to miss this. I'm clutching it like a safebelt now.
Activites spanning all four weeks: water-melon eating, CoS surfing, small-hours chatting, House MD before bed in the attic, night ice-scream snacks, calamari eating, indiscriminate devouring of all kinds of TV programmes and way too little sleep :D
Tomorrow is my last day of beach, and then I have to pack my bags and leave for that horrendous city. D; Pomorie summers with friends, family and soaps are turning from a given to a dream getaway.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Inspired by LZ, mainly
Иска ми се да слушам повече музика. Но за музиката, както за четенето, ако искам да е отговорно и сериозно, ми трябва време и спокойствие, без напиращи мисли и задачи, които да нахлуват и настояват да утвърдят присъствието си, докато газя из плитчините на музиката/литературата.
Иска ми се да знам повече и да разбирам по-добре изкуствата, всяко поотделно и най-вече в целостта им - като продукт и като индикатив.
Иска ми се да знам повече и да разбирам по-добре изкуствата, всяко поотделно и най-вече в целостта им - като продукт и като индикатив.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Август
Август е винаги чакан и аз съм много пристрастна към него. Рожден ден, долетели от разнообразни разстояния приятели, морето, вкъщи. В август има повече носталгия и същевременно повече обнадежденост, отколкото във всеки друг месец.
Тази година пакетът включи и ново приятелство, вълнуващо световно събитие, едно събиране, една раздяла.
Август избистря мътещите водата вихрушки пясък и хората и дейностите, които наистина желая, се появяват под прозрачната повърхност.
Тази година пакетът включи и ново приятелство, вълнуващо световно събитие, едно събиране, една раздяла.
Август избистря мътещите водата вихрушки пясък и хората и дейностите, които наистина желая, се появяват под прозрачната повърхност.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
The infinite variety of the human touch
A friend is sad and I cannot seem to reach her, I haven't been able to for a while. I fret and toss around in agony over the prospective break in the thread connecting our two personnas, and yet I can palpate, beneath the layers of fear and anxiety, and the occasional surges of desperation, a solid core of a peculiar comfort - a headstrong confidence, even knowledge, of sorts, that what has been will always be.
Another friend is frothing with insecurities, all of them larger than life for her, and I don't know how to bring them up or point them out. As long as I've known her they have been there - they change expression, manners, ways of fighing or ignoring them change, the level of awareness alters over time, even the results they generate as motivators have changed, but they are not gone, not reduced, not even better acknowledged, despite all the circusmtances which would normally render them so. Quite apart from being at a complete loss as to how to help, her behaviour vexes me... I cannot quite accept these insecurity-driven acts and professed opinions. Does this make me a bad friend? Or not a friend at all?
Another friend is very recent... Yet he feels so close.
One of my most beloved friends and I were severed cruelly 7 years ago by a vast distance. The four times I've met him for these 7 years, it was like we never parted - but still, I cannot help but fear that time and distance will finally do their thing and rob me of this precious, inexplicable, unmeasurable treasure that is our relationship.
Severed ties sadden me enormously.
I can't quite remember where it was, but in once I read in a book that love is anxiety, and I agree, and I am grateful for it, in a way.
Another friend is frothing with insecurities, all of them larger than life for her, and I don't know how to bring them up or point them out. As long as I've known her they have been there - they change expression, manners, ways of fighing or ignoring them change, the level of awareness alters over time, even the results they generate as motivators have changed, but they are not gone, not reduced, not even better acknowledged, despite all the circusmtances which would normally render them so. Quite apart from being at a complete loss as to how to help, her behaviour vexes me... I cannot quite accept these insecurity-driven acts and professed opinions. Does this make me a bad friend? Or not a friend at all?
Another friend is very recent... Yet he feels so close.
One of my most beloved friends and I were severed cruelly 7 years ago by a vast distance. The four times I've met him for these 7 years, it was like we never parted - but still, I cannot help but fear that time and distance will finally do their thing and rob me of this precious, inexplicable, unmeasurable treasure that is our relationship.
Severed ties sadden me enormously.
I can't quite remember where it was, but in once I read in a book that love is anxiety, and I agree, and I am grateful for it, in a way.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Hardcore
Today I was enlightened with the discovery that I am, indeed, a radical feminist.
A general rant about feminism seems to be in order. I do not see anything wrong with radical feminism. I do not understand how feminism can ever be "moderate". There is a very clear goal there, and it can't be achieved partially. This is not a negotiation where we get a bunch of rights and in turn make a few concessions on our part. What women ask for is something that should be their right, once we accept women are human beings in all senses and on all levels as men are. For me, expressions like "You can vote and run for official posts now, what else do you want?" are revealing an extremely narrow-minded and ignorant attitude. What else? We want human dignity and our own identity. I want to be able to identify myself without using terms and cliches created and pinned by men. I want to be able to define myself with a complete irrelevance of the male point of view. Towards this goal no concessions should be available, and I am willing to make none. To expect them is insulting in itself.
Also, I am sick of people ignorantly and stubbornly equating feminism with misandry, lesbianism or insanity, and of people villifying and shunning it like some sort of a crazy sect. If you are unable to spot the gaping hole between the sexes and the rampaging sexism around, fine, but please let those who do have their say. Someone disagreeing with you doesn't meain they are wrong, shockingly enough.
Rant over.
I wish I had more time for this blog. Kinda like I used to when I was still in Finland.
A general rant about feminism seems to be in order. I do not see anything wrong with radical feminism. I do not understand how feminism can ever be "moderate". There is a very clear goal there, and it can't be achieved partially. This is not a negotiation where we get a bunch of rights and in turn make a few concessions on our part. What women ask for is something that should be their right, once we accept women are human beings in all senses and on all levels as men are. For me, expressions like "You can vote and run for official posts now, what else do you want?" are revealing an extremely narrow-minded and ignorant attitude. What else? We want human dignity and our own identity. I want to be able to identify myself without using terms and cliches created and pinned by men. I want to be able to define myself with a complete irrelevance of the male point of view. Towards this goal no concessions should be available, and I am willing to make none. To expect them is insulting in itself.
Also, I am sick of people ignorantly and stubbornly equating feminism with misandry, lesbianism or insanity, and of people villifying and shunning it like some sort of a crazy sect. If you are unable to spot the gaping hole between the sexes and the rampaging sexism around, fine, but please let those who do have their say. Someone disagreeing with you doesn't meain they are wrong, shockingly enough.
Rant over.
I wish I had more time for this blog. Kinda like I used to when I was still in Finland.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Getting sucked in
My life is slowly drifting from the physical world into the webspace, despite my kicking and hysterical protests. Nostalgia gains even more power.
I need to kick off and swim to the surface. I am in need of that.
I need to kick off and swim to the surface. I am in need of that.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
A very brief note
Seems I haven't posted in a while.
I'm not gone, and the blog is not abandoned, I'm just busy.
I'm preparing the final installment of the Magical World of JYU.
I'm not gone, and the blog is not abandoned, I'm just busy.
I'm preparing the final installment of the Magical World of JYU.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Мечти
Това изглежда е някаква верижна блог игра, на която ме предизвика windy. Надявам се да не я прекъсна поради изключително малкото читатели на този блог - който прочете това, моля, направете го и вие.
За мен най-интимното нещо на света са мечтите. Аз говоря ужасно много, особено за себе си, не крия нито емоциите си, нито какво мисля, нито какво съм правила вчера или миналата година, или в гимназията. Но за мечтите си не мога да говоря и не искам. Не знам защо, имам чувството, че откривам нещо крайно интимно, нещо, на което никой няма право освен мен (и понякога някой, когото много обичам). Затова следват някои по-"дребни" мечти >.<
За мен най-интимното нещо на света са мечтите. Аз говоря ужасно много, особено за себе си, не крия нито емоциите си, нито какво мисля, нито какво съм правила вчера или миналата година, или в гимназията. Но за мечтите си не мога да говоря и не искам. Не знам защо, имам чувството, че откривам нещо крайно интимно, нещо, на което никой няма право освен мен (и понякога някой, когото много обичам). Затова следват някои по-"дребни" мечти >.<
- Мечтая да живея на място, което не ме подтиска.
- Мечтая да се върна в Индия.
- Понякога мечтая нищо в родния ми град да не се беше променяло.
- Мечтая да запазя всичките си приятелства непокътнати.
- Мечтая да не забравя нито един език, който съм учила, и да довърша тези, които започнах.
- Искам никога повече да не ме съдят според пола ми.
- Мечтая за имунизация срещу носталгията!
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