Sunday, July 13, 2014

Ambition and ispirational messages

I have this weird problem. People around me seem to struggle to fight for something better in their lives and realise their ambitions and potential. I have the opposite issue - I feel constantly shamed by this barrage of messages that I should go forth and be myself and not care about obstacles and not conform etc. I feel like I should have a stronger desire to be more unique, more non-comforming, more genius, more impactful, more outstanding, when I don't really want these things. So I'm left with a weird feeling of guilt over not being spiritually ambitious enough, is the best way I can put it. I do get a tinge of feeling I'm capable of so much more... but I just don't have the perseverance in me to pursue this. And besides, doesn't everyone?

This sounds like a rationalisation of my laziness. It most likely is! But I just wish I'd be free from these defeating inspirational messages scolding me for not trying to change the world harder. I feel like social media and living constantly connected has dried up my potential to do any of those things I'm reminded daily I'm not doing. Because I think I'd be more likely to depart on my path if I wasn't constantly offered a scale of the infinite possibilities juxtaposed with the barren land of my efforts and achievements.

Maybe I should quit the internet for a year.