Isn't it funny how everyone seems to think they're the centre of the universe, and you can actually trace this belief throughout their behaviour. I can see it in mine. I can spot it in my thought patterns, even when it's artfully concealed. It seems humility is not easy, and does not come naturally to most of us. I try hard for it when I detect the complacency in my thought-chain or my words, and sometimes I have the feeling I actually achieve it. But it may just be an illusion of humility, a token, whereas the real thing remains out of grasp. I nurture a hope that it can be built gradually, and sometimes I even venture a thought that I have started. Well, trying alone rises my levels of hope and spirit.
This evening especially humility seemed to evade me decisively. I don't know what had gotten into me, because everything started so well, but the more we talked (I was downtown with Gintas), the more I exhibited self-satisfaction, egocentrism and desperate pleas for attention. I don't know how he does it, but Gintas is able to wrench the worst out of me with lazy ease. Perhpas it's for the better though. Perhaps being told unpleasant views about your person helps you look at it from an outsider's point of view and prune it here and there. As I said, I'm hopeful.
And the evening was nice, the uncontainable gushing of dubious emotions notwithstanding. We walked for an hour at least, ending up in a graveyard, which we strolled through, walking among the soft balls of light encircling the candles. Then we spent another two hours in Coffee House, where most of the aforementioned gushing took place. Gintas can't have a very favourable opinion of me, and I can't say I blame him. But he did give my contact info book considerable attention and time. A nice guy, he is.
And I suppose it's time for some news after a month of posting only sudden bursts of emotion. Well, this week was good-bye week. Heartbreaking. You can see the order of leaving people by the posts tagged "the magical world of jyu", starting from Chao. This morning I saw Nora and Giovanni off. (post about them upcoming tomorrow or Monday, depending on cleaning progress.) It's kind of cruel, isn't it, that I have to just cut off, with one brutal strike, the barely-unfolded friendships which were struck here. Cruel, and yet no-one to blame (almost). *sigh* Giovanni and Nora, thank you. Both of you have done more for me than you imagine.
Christmas eve will be spent here, in our little flat. I have no more information, Ewelina is in charge as usual. Christmas day - well, I'll think about that later. I'm gald I'm in a minimalistic country with as little amount of Christmas cheer in the form of kitschy decoration and shopwindow configurations as possible. I like this chubby, up-spirit and, well, merry Western Christmas, but I dislike the exaggeration it sometimes slides into. Plus a little snow would have helped immensely with the Christmas spirit distribution, but - no. snow. in. Finland. I'd write something cheerful for ending, but I can't seem to find anything of that nature in my head right now. Well, I'll just go to bed, I guess. See you tomorrow!
This evening especially humility seemed to evade me decisively. I don't know what had gotten into me, because everything started so well, but the more we talked (I was downtown with Gintas), the more I exhibited self-satisfaction, egocentrism and desperate pleas for attention. I don't know how he does it, but Gintas is able to wrench the worst out of me with lazy ease. Perhpas it's for the better though. Perhaps being told unpleasant views about your person helps you look at it from an outsider's point of view and prune it here and there. As I said, I'm hopeful.
And the evening was nice, the uncontainable gushing of dubious emotions notwithstanding. We walked for an hour at least, ending up in a graveyard, which we strolled through, walking among the soft balls of light encircling the candles. Then we spent another two hours in Coffee House, where most of the aforementioned gushing took place. Gintas can't have a very favourable opinion of me, and I can't say I blame him. But he did give my contact info book considerable attention and time. A nice guy, he is.
And I suppose it's time for some news after a month of posting only sudden bursts of emotion. Well, this week was good-bye week. Heartbreaking. You can see the order of leaving people by the posts tagged "the magical world of jyu", starting from Chao. This morning I saw Nora and Giovanni off. (post about them upcoming tomorrow or Monday, depending on cleaning progress.) It's kind of cruel, isn't it, that I have to just cut off, with one brutal strike, the barely-unfolded friendships which were struck here. Cruel, and yet no-one to blame (almost). *sigh* Giovanni and Nora, thank you. Both of you have done more for me than you imagine.
Christmas eve will be spent here, in our little flat. I have no more information, Ewelina is in charge as usual. Christmas day - well, I'll think about that later. I'm gald I'm in a minimalistic country with as little amount of Christmas cheer in the form of kitschy decoration and shopwindow configurations as possible. I like this chubby, up-spirit and, well, merry Western Christmas, but I dislike the exaggeration it sometimes slides into. Plus a little snow would have helped immensely with the Christmas spirit distribution, but - no. snow. in. Finland. I'd write something cheerful for ending, but I can't seem to find anything of that nature in my head right now. Well, I'll just go to bed, I guess. See you tomorrow!
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